I have some complicated feelings for this book.

The first full sex scene was… written well for what I think it was trying to portray. It didn’t feel like a spicy scene meant to be sexy and hot and turn the reader on, it felt more like… a delve into the mind of the ml. It’s written very well except for one phrase, but it wasn’t intimate sexually or romantically… just mentally. It felt feral. Like beasts coming together to satisfy nature’s desires rather than their own… but it seems to have opened each of them up to each other in a way.

Since the beginning of the story I did not like the ml, but he started to change my mind at around 50%. Clearly there are communication issues but more so it’s the ignorance he has about his mate’s people. And he was too distracted by his own dick to really delve into the reason for all the things that confused him… that and his pride got in the way. Thankfully he does see the light and come to understand how heinous own actions were and does what he can to make up for it even if he doesn’t really forgive himself for not knowing the truth. But he shouldn’t forgive himself, he shouldn’t feel better just because he’s trying to fix things. He should feel bad for what his ignorance and neglect as a leader caused. This change that he starts, changing how the humans are viewed and treated, and how all of that works… that’s what I found the most interesting.

This story doesn’t read to me as a true romance. The characters didn’t feel romantically attracted to each other, mostly just sexually and there were hints at a mental connection. The story itself is deeper than just romance, and coming to that conclusion made this book more enjoyable because I wasn’t looking for romance anymore, I was looking for a darker and deeper sci-fi story. I can enjoy the sci-fi parts of this book the most, learning about technology and traditions of different aliens and such, that’s what was fun.