This memoir is split into two perspectives, a trans man reflecting on the early days of realizing his identity, and his mother who struggled with said identity. While I have found many trans memoirs that are written for young people to be overly juvenile, this memoir remained steadfast in its decision to never talk down to the reader, while still providing accessibility and definitions along the way; proof it was written by two academics. Originally I struggled with the inconclusiveness of the text -- where does this leave us?! But the memoir mirrors life in this way, as one is never done changing, never done identifying, and never done communicating.

I can't say it's not painful to read Mary's sections of the memoir. As an educated woman her push back and resistance is frustrating to the reader, however I feel that it may be a very sympathetic voice to parents going through the same issues. Donald's sections are impressively written, and researched -- truly recommended reading for young people attempting to understand the breadth of the trans experience or who are transgender themselves. Both collaborate with an honesty that is admirable and almost unbelievable.

It's a very real read, it's nothing like the proliferation of memoirs by over-exposed teens using ghost writers (which in this genre is very easy to find). What it lacks in a satisfying "complete" ending of achieving a newly minted perfect relationship, it makes up for in the visceral emotion and knowledgeability of the writers. Should be on every bookstore front-table for Pride month and beyond.